Biography



All we know is, he's called the Stig." Characteristics described in this format include:

  • He has no face
  • He is terrified of Scouts
  • The drinks cabinet in his car contains 14 different types of custard[ep 8]
  • His favourite T-shirt has a picture of a T-shirt
  • He is afraid of bells
  • He is confused by stairs
  • He never blinks[2]
  • He naturally faces magnetic north[11]
  • He has a digital face[11]
  • He will charge you if you attempt to remove his helmet
  • His nipples are explosive
  • He paid a 20,000 pound expenses claim for some gravel for his moat
  • When he sees a woman, his third leg will go up

Some introductions have referred to current events, such as:

  • "If you insult his mother, he will headbutt you in the chest" (a reference to Zinedine Zidane's headbutting incident in the 2006 FIFA World Cup final)
  • "If you give him a really important job, he'll skive off and play croquet" (a reference to Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott in 2006)[ep 9][12]
  • "Has dreams about what Rubens Barrichello would look like in a ham slicer" (a reference to Barrichello being faster than the Stig around the test track the week before)
  • "If he was getting a divorce from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut" (a reference to McCartney's divorce from Heather Mills in 2008)
  • "He always wears a helmet because a man once smashed him in the face with a model of Salisbury Cathedral" (a reference to the Silvio Berlusconi assault with an alabaster statuette of Milan Cathedral in December 2009)[13]
  • "He's banned from the town of Chichester and..., in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh" (a reference to conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Princess Diana)
  • "If you hold him in the wrong way, he doesn't work properly" (a reference to the iPhone 4's death grip)
  • "He regrets buying his new holiday home in down-town Cairo" (a reference to the Arab Spring in early 2011)
  • "He contains 47% horse" (a reference to the 2013 horse meat scandal)
  • "He used to work in Rome, but gave up his job to be able to keep up with his work here" (after the Pope's retirement in early 2013)
  • "As a result of buying Pirelli condoms this week, he now has seventeen children" (reference to multiple cars suffering blown Pirelli tyres at the 2013 British Grand Prix)
  • "On a recent trip to Cornwall, he stopped off for one of his special, big wees in Somerset" (a reference to the 2013 Somerset flooding)
  • "If he had worked for CNN, he wouldn't have got such pitifully low ratings that his show got cancelled" (a reference to the cancellation of Piers Morgan Live)
  • "While we were off air, his iCloud was hacked and now everyone in the world has seen his helmet" (a reference to the 2014 celebrity photo hack)
  • "Last week, he was found in a locked room, tied to a chair with German piano wire" (the week after Michael Schumacher was "revealed" as The Stig)
  • "He once punched a horse to the ground" (a reference to the story of Roberto Durán having done so)



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